I am quite often baffled at how much people think that they “deserve” from others. This is what I mean. I have had several conversations with folks who feel overwhelmed by the demands placed on them by their friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and even random people whose names they barely even know. It really is very interesting to me how people will manipulate your time, your gifts, and your influence for their gain and then throw a guilt trip on you because their needs, which will not be reciprocated, have not been met. It really baffles me.
But maybe it shouldn’t. I mean, people are people and the truth is sanctification is a process. I guess it just bothers me because people will carry the weight of others’ stuff and will be drained in all kinds of ways simply because they want to make sure someone is not mad or they want to be liked. Friends, it is a tremendous burden to try and be a people pleaser. Let me tell you why. Those people you are trying to please will NEVER be completely satisfied. Yes! I said it and feel free to share this blog post with them. They will NEVER be satisfied and there will be no end to your efforts to please and pacify those grown folks.
So, you might as well focus on just pleasing God!
Isn’t that a novel idea?
What if you redirected your energy toward pleasing the Almighty and allowed God’s Spirit to lead you as to how you can interact with others in faithful and healthy ways?
And guess what? Somebody will still be upset with you. Do not be surprised. Be loving and kind and honor your truth and personal boundaries. It is OK to stop trying to please people who will never be satisfied and focus on pleasing God.
Paul seemed to struggle with this issue when he writes:
Am I trying to win over human beings or God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I wouldn’t be Christ’s slave. Brothers and sisters, I want you to know that the gospel I preached isn’t human in origin. I didn’t receive it or learn it from a human. It came through a revelation from Jesus Christ. [Galatians 1:10-12]
Friends, you do not have enough time in the day to please all the folks who claim they “need” you. But if you seek to please our Lord, your steps will be ordered including how to retire the burden of pleasing them.
BlogFam, you have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb and no one in your family or friend circle did that for you and could not do that for you. So, keep their position in your life in perspective. You only have ONE Savior. They might not understand it at first. I have been there. I have had folks to try to impose their manipulative guilt trips on me because they wanted whatever they wanted at my expense and often with no regard to how I really felt as long as their goals were accomplished or reputations were intact. But friends, I learned a very long time ago, as Paul so clearly states, “If I were still trying to please people, I wouldn’t be Christ’s slave.”
BlogFam, it is a new day. Focus on your relationship with the Lord and out of that priority, you will know how to find a new way of being with the needy people in your life. It may not be easy at first but your voice will get stronger and stronger every time you honor your new boundaries.
God LOVES You and I do too!
Blessings, Glory, and Sunshine!
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